Winterschool is comming to an End and Africa is comming soon!

Hello Friends!
Well, I'm into my last days here at Capernwray Bible school- winter school. this is a VERY sad time, let me tell you. there is a new buzz around the hall, as we are all trying to cram in as much time with each other as possible. There have even been more people at breakfast than normal, and I would know because I go to breakfast EVERY morning. no lies. I have good discipline. But in all of my preparations to LEAVE the hall for a month, I am also prepairing to ENTER the country of Ghana for that same month. Now, this is a brand new adventure, let me tell you. You will all be pleased to know that at this time, my 'africa bag' is pretty much packed, but I must admit that this is because 3/4 of my wardrobe is being brought to me from Canada by my dearest mom. I quite excited by the thought of new clothes, as I am bored to tears of my current closet of the same cloths that I have been wearing for a year or more. The current state of my room right now is something to behold- there are clothes hanging from the lampshades, boxes strewn about the room, suitcases blocking the 'pathways' between our beds, and our beds have become hosts to piles and piles and piles of STUFF. like... it is unbelievable the amount of STUFF that we as people can aquire. I have nearly 5 pounds of letters people have sent me. like... it is unreal. Now, don't tell my mom, but I am writing this during lecture right now, because the staff [who knows what they were thinkin] put in Mark Thomas as our lecturer this week... and I can't even try to pay attention, he is so boring. like... you know that cliche history teacher: grey hair, glasses, monotone voice that only speaks the words 'wah wah wah wah wah'. yup... that is, in his entirety MARK THOMAS. but he is forced to continue giving the most painful lectures because he happens to be the son of the Founder of Capernwray- Major Ian Thomas. And this Major Ian Thomas also happens to be the author of the worst christian devotional book I have ever been forced to read- The Indwelling Life of Christ. ...these are the only two things I can really complain about school right now. The food has gotten alot better, you have no idea. I think I have put on weight.
I am so sad to think that in just a week, all 160 of us will be strewn accross this planet, never to know when we will meet again- if ever. Sad times.
Its funny though, because it tells me that I am just that much closer to comming home, and to be completely honest about the situation, I am quite excited to come home and get on with the next part of my life. Which is.... I DON'T KNOW! haha, silly, huh? But I know that it will be good, and I am excited for that. ButI also know that I need to live my life right here, right now, not three months down the line in Saskatoon. And thats hard. But I am so excited to know what God is going to do with my life, to know what this next year holds for me- weather it is just waitressing at some Resaraunt or something more, I feel like I'm ready for it. On the other hand, if there is someting I have learned here, its that if you think you are ready for something, you sure as heck are not, because God still has a mile of work to do on you... so I guess thats what spring school is for. Anways... Here's to an attempt at getting something out of Mark Thomas' 5th lecture on the book of Phillipians. Wish me luck!Love you all!Laurel

Thoughts on being vulnerable

So, today, on the way back from York, I was thinking about vulnerablity.
I was listening to the song 'Casey's Song' By City & Colour, and the lyrics went like this:
'With you on my mind
and my heart held in your hands
Screaming break me.'

And I got to thinking about that, and thinking that Its so tough, to trust people with your heart. or maybe thats just me. But how many of us actually tell everyone EVERYTHING about all the situations in our lives, I mean, its hard to do that, its hard to believe that they won't hurt you, that they won't break your heart.
But then I was thinking about how much I want people to put their hearts in my hands- how much I want them to trust me. and therefore become completely hypocritical.
But its such a scary place to be in- vulnerable.

And thats about as far as my thoughts went.

And... this week has been great, and I leave in a week for Africa! I'm so excited!
And thats all I got.
Much love,
Laurel

Outreach Overview & thoughts of Africa

Well, this one is going to be a long one, I am sorry about that!Outreach was.... amazing. But it was also a million other things too. it was super hard, it was streatching. it was good. it was fun, and wow! I went with 5 other students (Brad, Paul, Heidi, Ashley and Cherize) from Capers to Barnoldswick (Barlick for short). We worked in two sister, methodist chruches, and in schools. They split us into two teams of three, and we went into different schools. I was With Paul and Cherize in A secondary school called West Craven High Technology College. we taught RE (religious education) classes every day that lasted an hour. The best part of that was when we opened it up for questions. I mean, we got some silly questions like 'have you ever seen a drive by?' or 'have you ever been held at gun point?' which is how I guess europeaners view north america.... a place that supports violence 'for fun'. kinda sad, actually. but then we got good questions like 'why did you become christian?' 'how do you pray' 'how do you know that god is listening?' 'how do you know god is real?' and 'why do you believe in creation?'. it was super sweet, because the best part of it was that they actually cared and wanted to honestly know the answers. I thought that the kids here would be like the north american teenagers who are SO cynical and so hard and so worldly, but these kids were honestly searching for something more out of life, and it was AWESOME to go in, turn on the light, and show them what Jesus looks like in the 21st centry. God showed his faithfulness there hugely- he provided us with the answers to questions that we didn't think we could answer. and it was great, because if I couldn't answer a question, Paul or Cherize wold pick up, and that was awesome. Other than school work, we also did alot of things with the churches. We did girls/ boys brigades, cubs and beavers, a mom's and toddler's group, a 'young wives' group (aka the oldest people I have ever met in my entire life), youth clubs, as well as attending two services each sunday. Also, every night we went into 2-3 different houses (we were broken up into different groups) for tea. Seriously, those people fed us like... I don't even know. Some of them, I don't know what they were thinking. its a VERY english thing to put full plates in front of your guests when they sit down at the table, so half the time, my food was already portioned out to me, but I was there, often with the two boys who are both 6'4 and weigh literally twice as much as I do (we weighed ourselves one night), but they would give me the same amount of food as both of them. and its unpolite to not eat everything thats put in front of you, so I am sitting here, typing this with an extra thousand pounds on my body. no,... but seriously, I gained easily 5 pounds this last week.
Other fun times included our daily team nap times, lunch sandwich making times, and just the fun stuff that would happen in between. the 6 of us have SSOOOOO many inside jokes, you have no idea. we laughed alot this last week and that was fabulous! the first saturday we went waterfall climbing. yes, that is right, I, Laurel Baillie, the 5 foot wonder, climbed a waterfall. oh, and no, I did not go around, I got wet, I climbed up, and I conquered the waterfall. Honestly, I cried, I was so scared, but of course it felt SO good to get to the top and look down and say 'I climbed that!' I cried another day too.... We went to this man's house that he turned into a liecenced zoo, and we all know how much I like animals... NOT! well... we were inside his house, and first there were these two dogs, that looked more like wolves than dogs that proweled around sniffing us, then there were these two siamese cats that were SOOOOOOO creepy, not nice like the pictures look like, and then this man reaches into this aquarium and pulls out this two foot long blue tounged lizard and hands it to one of the boys and then non-chalontly says 'I'm just going to go and get the snake.' and well... I teared up, ran out of the house and hyperventilated for 5 minutes. it was the most tramatic experience of my life. SO scary! I hate animals. but that wasn't even the end, because in his back yard his had walibys, leemers, squirrel monkeys, parakeets, parrots, more dogs, skunks and rodents beyond belif. oh, and owels and turkeys and chickens and ducks and geese. terrible stuff.
The last weekend, there was some major spiritual stuff that went on, some huge spiritual attacks. I don't know details of all of it, but I do know that God deffenelty took advantage of my gift of intercession, and I spend a very long time on my knees praying over the weekend. it was super intense. Our team is so close now... everyone is getting kinda frustrated with us cause we always are laughing and talking with each other. I honestly miss the time I had with those guys. but it was so good.
Now, I am turning into Africa mode, because we only have 10 days left here, and thats unreal. I am going to miss these people SO much! I have just learned that we have a travel weekend in spring school, and another girl and I are talking about maybe taking a cheap flight over to Austria so that we can visit our friends over there, because there is 25 students from the hall doing spring school there. That might be fun. but its just in talking stages right now... nothing more. but gosh... these people have been like family to me these last 6 months, and seriously, it is hard to imagine the rest of life without them... I have made some serious life friends, and some of my best friends here. But I'm starting to think malaria medication, cloths for hot weather, storing the rest of my stuff, money conversion, and AH! its crazy. there is so much to think of. And I am spending one night in London before I go. That will be with my friends Heidi and Dee, and I think we are going to see about seeing Phantom that night, which will be super sweet. before we go though, we have to buy our tickets and book a hostel. which I guess is a bit stressful, but I'm not concerned too much. It will work out. I'm a little concerned about going from the hostel to the airport, but I'll leave in good time. once I check in and go through security I'll be fine. and I honestly don't mind spending a couple of hours just hanging out in the terminal. Heathrow is big enough that I can amuse myself for a while.
Anyways... this has been long enough, and I am rambling now, so I hope you all have been doing well! Saturday I am gong to York.... and then its only a matter of days till Africa!I love you guys! thanks for all of your prayers while I was on outreach!
Laurel

mid-week post

Well, Just a quick one here guys....
I'm out on outreach and I have a couple of prayer requests:
-a team member, Ashley, lost her Grandma this week. she has decided to stay here for the rest of the term. Just pray for her and her family.
-I am feeling like I'm getting sick, please pray for that.
-We are all tired, and its still not yet halfway through the week.

Thanks so much.
Oh... and Ashley is home. You should harass her. ok... no... give her some time to sleep, but deffenetly give her a hug for me!
Its nearly time to head home and climb into bed.
Much love,
Laurel

Headed off For Outreach!

Wow. Sorry. Its been a long while.
This last friday, my dearest and Oldest brother, Jeremy came to visit me. While it was a typical week with Jeremy (aka not extravagantly exciting) it was really good to see him, and have a face from home in this foreign country. I don't think he understands how great it was to see him. Actually... I know that before comming here I had no idea what lengths I'd go to to see someone even vaguely familiar, or how much I appricate someone visiting me that is vaguely familiar. I guess a foreign country is a pretty lonely place. I can't imagine what it is like for those immigrants in Canada who don't even speak english and go for years without meeting someone. I think that we should have a new program- greet an immigrant a day. I know that if I lived somewhere like Toronto I would get involved in something like that. But wait... do you know that there is an immigrant community near 20th street? yeah. Visit them sometime.
There are SO many things like that that I want to do when I get home. I want to work in a soup kitchen. I want to start working with white buffalo youth lodge. I want to work with youth- but take them out for coffee regularly. I want to start to make a difference in people's lives. Like.... I mean a real and meaningful difference. I want to get a sponsor child. or two. I want to support an organization with monthly donations. I want to volanteer with an organization. I want to help find a cure for Aids... or maybe make a difference in the aids breakout in africa. I want to stop poverty... or just feed a kid for their life. I just want to make my time on earth so much more worth while. I mean.. so far in life all I've done is WANT a shirt, or 'need' something else. but in reality... I have so much. I say I want to travel the world, when one kid will never get to leave a 20 mile radius of the place that they were born.
but then there are other things that I want to do. I want to learn to play the piano, but for real this time. I want to learn how to ballroom dance. I want to learn how to cook. I want to learn another language. I want to read books. about history. about romance. about cultre. about the future. about conspiracy theorys. about today. about real lives. poems. plays. fiction. non-fiction.
I dunno. there is SO much that I want to do... but none of it is a career. and I want all of it to be something that I do for life. but then I want to work as a waitress- because someone has to, and think of all the convorsations I could have with people, about their lives.
I want to become self-less.
I guess I've had some time to reflect this last little while and realized how much unlike Jesus I am. I want people to look at me and see Jesus.

anyways... that was a tangent I was not expecting.
Friday I leave for Barnoldswick to do my 10-day outreach. what am I? Scared? yup. Excited? yeah... a bit. um... I am just... haha, like I normally am. a bit numb. But I know it will be good. my team has been meeting EVERYDAY for like an HOUR, which is WAY more than every other team around here. but then again (yes mom) we are not like everyother team. We spend at LEAST half of that time laughing with each other, and that has been so good. They have become some of my best friends. and all the staff talk about how great our team is, and that really makes me happy.We do have alot of stuff to plan too though... and that makes me a littlestressed because we don't often get alot done. but I know we will be fine. one of our memory verses this term was
2 Corinthians 12:9- but he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weaknesss.' therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's Power may rest on me.
This has kinda become my motto for this outreach- because I feel so weak and ineffecient, but I know that God can do it if I just let him take over, and I'm working on that one.

This last week we had another prayer day, and I was able to work through some stuff that I haven't been letting God take over, and he kinda came in and took over, and showed me where he was in certain situations, and that was SO good for me. To let go. to move on. Alot of it came through a FABULOUS convorsation with my room mates.
My one room mate, Adrienne would not tell you that she is a christian. Certainly at the begining of term she was so hard, and its unbelievable what she is saying and doing now. Right now she is working through what she is going to do next year, because what she has been planning to do would be the easy road and she would fall back into her old habits, which she now realizes is not really what she likes to do. So then she doesn't know what she is going to do at all. Its been refreshing to have her in my room. to see what true transperancy really looks like when it comes to a relationship.

I guess I've had alot of life to think about the last little while. And I'm in a good place. Spiritually. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Its all good.
Although I am so ready to go to Africa for a month. That will be oh so good. I'm tired of being in this bubble. I'm ready to be in the real world. and see different people for a while. that will be so nice. I'm especially excited to see the world with Nathan. I wish I could have done what he is getting to do at his age. Maybe he'll be a world traveler. Although by the end of this experience all three of us will have been to the same places in the world... and I'll have one up- Cayman. but still, I"m telling you, Nathan is such a lucky kid. I'm so excited to see the world with him. And I'm excited to see my mom. As of today I haven't talked to my mom in like a week. thats a super long time. and I can't get ahold of her cause she's never in when I call her. that sucks. I'm not good at not talking to my mom. The opposite of most people here.

Well... thats pretty much all I have for now. haha. its pretty long.CONGRADULATIONS to all those who made it through! and THANKS for taking the hour or twenty out of your day to read this! I really do appreciate all you guys back home praying for me and encouraging me!
Please don't expect much over the next ten days, as I'll be on outreach. but I would VERY MUCH appreciate your prayers, more than you know. Specifically you could pray for:
-unity in the team (while I'm really not concerned about this there may be small issues that arise, and prayer for patience with each other would be great)
-Open hearts for those that we will be working with (in schools, youth clubs, church meetings, Cubs & brownies, etc.)
-Rest the week we are there (we will have very limited hours of sleep
-Patience and the words to say when we are approached with difficult questions.

Thanks so much! I hope you have a fabulous week, and God blesses you tremendously!
Much Love,
Laurel