Saying Goodbye
I had a brief convosation with a friend today that made me realize that saying goodbye is purely a matter of the heart. I know in my head that it is going to be so good for me to be in england, to be poured into for a year, to learn, to soak, and then to pour out. But my heart, it aches with the thought of leaving the people that make Saskatoon my home. The friends. the Family. the friends that are family, and the family that are friends. And in my heart, I don't want to leave, not at all.
Then my head comes in and tells me that I have to prove to myself that I can do this- that I need to grow up. But as we all know, Laurel Janet Baillie does NOT want to grow up.
Instead, I am sitting here listening to sappy love songs that should have never been written, and stare out of the window that has been in front of my dining room table for 18+ years, aka all my life. And the light that is shining on the next block over that I can only see from the right angle is beside the only place in the world that I want to be right now.
Its funny how in 5 days I will have all of the world to be and explore, and right now where I want to be is only around the corner.
I have this theory, how the places you are in aren't made up by WHAT they are, but WHO they are- who made the history, who built it, who is there with you, or who you want to be with. don't you think? I mean the Globe theater isn't so popular becasuse of the wood it is made with, but WHO it was that made the plays that were played in that theater, right? Rome wouldn't be a destination if it weren't for the roman emporers that ruled out of rome. Home wouldn't be home unless Mom and Dad were there.
So it just makes me wonder, who am I going to meet this next year that will make me miss Capernwray Hall the next year? who is going to make this year as good as people are telling me? I mean, obviously I have something to do with that, but who is it that I am going to connect with that will make this year so unforgetable?
This last week, I have cried more than I have in four years. combined, probably. Saying Goodbye is so hard. I wish I never had to.
Laurel
Then my head comes in and tells me that I have to prove to myself that I can do this- that I need to grow up. But as we all know, Laurel Janet Baillie does NOT want to grow up.
Instead, I am sitting here listening to sappy love songs that should have never been written, and stare out of the window that has been in front of my dining room table for 18+ years, aka all my life. And the light that is shining on the next block over that I can only see from the right angle is beside the only place in the world that I want to be right now.
Its funny how in 5 days I will have all of the world to be and explore, and right now where I want to be is only around the corner.
I have this theory, how the places you are in aren't made up by WHAT they are, but WHO they are- who made the history, who built it, who is there with you, or who you want to be with. don't you think? I mean the Globe theater isn't so popular becasuse of the wood it is made with, but WHO it was that made the plays that were played in that theater, right? Rome wouldn't be a destination if it weren't for the roman emporers that ruled out of rome. Home wouldn't be home unless Mom and Dad were there.
So it just makes me wonder, who am I going to meet this next year that will make me miss Capernwray Hall the next year? who is going to make this year as good as people are telling me? I mean, obviously I have something to do with that, but who is it that I am going to connect with that will make this year so unforgetable?
This last week, I have cried more than I have in four years. combined, probably. Saying Goodbye is so hard. I wish I never had to.
Laurel
posted by Laurel at 10:22 PM
1 Comments:
Hey laurel.
I really enjoyed just hanging out yesterday even though it wasnt anything enthralling. I hope you did to. Anyways
Be strong in the lord, and know that he will provide for your every need when your over there. Get excited lol. I know it is probably hard to with stuff to pack still but I know you will be once you're there :)
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